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People can say fetid and ugly stuffs about me. They can say all they want to say; its their dirty mouth responsible for it and I do not have any control over that. SO, I finally decided that I wouldnt waste my time as to worry on what they will think and say to me. I will do my thing and leave the hating up to them. Who's mood will be all messed up? Certainly not mine. Who will get annoyed? Not me.

I cannot please anybody. Most especially if those peoples minds are already set that I am a bitch. I respect their opinion. I am just asking one thing from them, respect. If it is too hard for them to give that then what can I do? Grieve all day? No way. =P

just respect, my dears. . respect. . One more thing, I AM NOT PERFECT and I did not claim to be.


-lulay

myspace: http://myspace.com/lulay


friendster & myspace: lulayers@yahoo.com

♥♥♥

Sa pangalawang pagkakataon, nawalan nanaman ako ng isang kaibigan ngayong taon. Ang aking kopyahan sa trigonometry, ang isa sa pang-asar sakin, ang leader "kuno" ng aming grupo (na ipinangalan pa sa kanya ni Maam Tan ang pangalan ng aming grupo dahil paborito nya kameng pansinin at pagdiskitihan at akusahan na kami ang maiingay sa twing nagkaklase sya, ang "Baguio & the company") nila Wren, Dado, Clint at Fernan at higit sa lahat, aming kaibigan na si Aaron Jay Baguio ay pumanaw na nung nakaraang Disyembre 11 ng 6:26 ng gabi ng dahil sa Leukemia at iba-iba pang komplikasyon na nangyare sa katawan nya.

Kalungkutan at pagkabigla. Ito ang bumalot sa amin na nakasama, kakilala, naging kaklase at syempre saming mga kaibigan nya. .

Nang una kong nabalitaan ang pagkamatay nya kahapon, hindi ko napigilang bumuhos ang aking mga luha. Ang lahat ay biglaan. Nakakagulat. Ang bilis ng pangyayare. Hindi naman namin naisip na darating ang araw na ganito. Ang huling balita kasi namin nung kelan lang eh nakakarecover na sya. Tapos biglang darating ang araw na mababalitaan mo nalang na wala na sya,. Masakit, OO.

Dali-dali kaming pumunta sa bahay nila para makiramay.. Ang sama sa loob nung nakita namin sya, ibang-iba.. Halatang hirap sya nang mamatay sya.. pinarinig pa samin ng Tatay nya ung voice record nya nung bago sya mamatay. Na ulit, halata sa boses nya na sobrang hirap sya sa kalagayan nya.. Hindi namin napigilan na umiyak ng matindi:C

Bandang huli., napagisip-isip namin na ok na ganun nalang ang nangyare sa kanya.. na sawakas hindi na sya mahihirapan sa sakit nya, na ok na sya sa kung nasaan man sya ngayon at kasama ang Diyos. Na kelangan nalang namin tanggapin ang lahat, na darating rin na kami-kami rin ang magkikita bandang huli..

I believe in heaven and know
that I should just accept it all
So content with the paths that I walk on
surely I should see it all
So take care and don't go to far,
I will miss your soul
When the distance grows
and the nights are long
and your scared at times
and you wonder why
Take care and don't go to far
I will miss your soul
I've looked into the sky a hundred times
and I've seen the stars that shine so bright
I'm sure that one of them is you, my friend
Watching and waiting and hoping that
I'll be alright
So take care and don't go to far
I will miss your soul
And when the distance grows
and the nights are long
and you're scared at times
and you wonder why
Take care I will miss your soul
The road back home is shorter than you know

aaron..maraming-maraming salamat sa lahat. . .

Things and events have been pretty rough on me lately. My inay eyed on us (me & rapi) again. I already raised the white flag but still it seems like the joke's on me. And i just noticed that my emotions tend to be on the extreme ends. Hell yeah, I am oh soo sad, still i can even fake a smile. I can seem to find something that will cheer me up. Maybe, i am just good in faking emotions. Yeah i am? But Im not trying to please anyone.

But then ranting all day long about my mishaps will not make things better. So, I've decided to let things fall into place. I will not struggle too much so that there would be no regrets in the end after I've given my best shot to my mom yesterday.

I am in no mood to express everything I am feeling here. Too many emotions rushing in. But then, despite of all this poo.

Still.. somebody made me happy at the end of the day eventhough he's not with me..

My Rapi. .

He was really smile.

"When I'm weak I draw strength from you . . .

And when I'm down you breathe life over me. . . "

now im 15.
haha.
im older now,so?
right now im planning to organize my life..
ohh i mean to concentrate more on my studies..
on my priorities..
still i'd spend a day with my baby if possible,of course.
i'll learn to discipline myself in anything.

bow.

I know i can do this, trust me. I will.

-JEAN CARLA B. OCAMPO